Good day

Today I had less pain and the right side of my body is functioning better now.  It's been hard to do a lot of things and it feels good to be able to do them again.  My incision is looking better and the area isn't as knotted as it has been.  I've finally gotten a handle on the side effects of being on 13 medications (6 of which I was on before).  I'm taking a lot of supplements to keep my body running with relative ease.  It's amazing what kind of bodily functions we have in our daily lives that we take for granted until they become the only thing we can think about.  I've been keeping my body as comfortable as possible even in sleep.  I found a little bean bag neck pillow at the dollar section at Target and I use it when I sleep to rest my chin on since the surgery left my neck pinched downward and to the right.  It's gradually easing up and feels good when I do very light neck stretches.  I am sort of surprised that the doctor didn't provide any sort of instructions about physical therapy I might do for myself, which makes me think that the pinched area isn't normal.  The right side of my body has been raised up as if when they stitched me up, they cinched a muscle or nerve by accident.  Much of the pain has been caused by that, as well as tension that my back, neck, shoulders, and even my head have held trying to compensate for the new state of things.  I have a follow up appointment on Feb 24 with the surgeon and I think I will ask about these things.  The only thing I had read in my research is that there would be a risk of nerve damage leaving the right side of my body slumped, so this is a little odd.  In order to wean myself off the pain medication over time, I am finding other ways to manage the pain (which is getting easier as the pain is lessening).  I use heat wraps on the front and back of my neck, as well as across my back, and then bundle up with a soft scarf real good.

I've been getting a lot of rest.  I sleep a usual night of sleep (8-10 hours) and almost always have a sleep during the day that lasts about 2-6 hours.  I am not generally sluggish or anything, but I can tell my body needs a time out each day and thankfully I have no trouble getting to sleep for the night.
James went back to work on Thursday, and I felt horrible that day because of some complications of my medicine, and I ended up sick.  It was a relief to be alone because I don't wish for him to witness anymore of the awful things that have been happening to me.  He is an amazing husband and he has been running across the street sometimes a few times a day to get the next remedy for what ails me.

The cashiers there must really think he or someone has some major personal problems haha.  They would be right haha :)  He is so good to me.  He doesn't always get me my medications now because I am trying to be more self-sufficient since he is back to work, but he still calls and texts to make sure I wake up to take them.  He is allowing me to teach him my special cooking techniques, and even filling out recipe cards of my best recipes (all of which I keep in my head) in order to cook meals for me.  He makes me cream of wheat in the morning with milk and brown sugar and a banana and it's so super delicious.  Usually I go back to sleep because it's so warm and toasty and I only get up at 830 am for my morning meds.  On Thursday after I finished my business and stopped feeling horrible, I had a nice long shower and a friend picked me up to go out to eat and catch up.  She recently had a C-section so we were both talking about our scars and such.  It was really nice to get out and have some girl time, and she was sweet enough to give me a ride since I wasn't as far along in my healing as I had expected to be able to drive myself.  Next week a few friends are going to be bringing meals to me and James.

How blessed am I?  Totally.  Every few days I receive another card in the mail and put it on my card wall that I pass by each time I leave my bedroom and can see from my bed.  It is so wonderful to be thought of.  It helps remind me that I'm not alone and that even though people are going about their lives, there is a piece of their heart that reaches out to hug me in this challenging time.

I haven't been more content with my life than I am now.  My priorities have shifted slightly (they shifted immensely last year) and because of that, I have a great deal of peace even as things aren't ideal.  I allow my soul to guide me and not my mind, and in doing that I am doing what is right for me.  In this way, the fears I had have fallen away, and I am living in the moment, every moment.  The future doesn't scare me, and the past doesn't matter.