Yes Man

My husband and I watched this movie yesterday, and as I'm sure it's intended, it got me thinking. How many missed opportunities for happiness pass us all by while we're busy being caught up in our own little worlds of sameness? I enjoy change, but I will be the first to admit I'd rather be the one making the change than having it forced upon me, which is sort of how the movie played out.

If you haven't seen the film, here's a basic rundown. Jim's character avoids doing things, on an extreme level. He's convinced to attend a cult-like seminar where he makes a covenant with the "leader" that he must say YES to every opportunity that presents itself. He takes it from one extreme to another and agrees to things he doesn't even want to do. All of these things lead to something new and positive. He realizes eventually, after some disappointing happenings, that he is not being forced to say yes to everything, and that he is allowed to be balanced in his decision-making.

There's so many lessons to take away from this (at least in my mind). First, it's obvious that life doesn't really happen this way. Things don't just slide into place in our lives by saying yes, or even making proactive decisions one way or another. Sometimes things go wrong even when we do what we think is best. The key is to learn how to handle what does happen in a way that is beneficial. Of course, this movie isn't about handling setbacks, it's about how not to be a hermit. However, I like to infer my own meanings to things. Another lesson to take from this movie is the fact that too often we are locked in a state of yes and forget that no is even an option.

If you're like me, you learned from an early age that obedience is integral to pleasing others. Also if you're like me, you thought that pleasing others was integral to being liked. Hence, obedience would make you a popular individual. So you agreed to be part of such-and-such committee, planner of what's-her-name's party, (insert responsibility you later resented here). People cheered and complimented you on your get-up-and-go attitude. You later realized you actually would rather be doing something other than what you signed up for. Ponder this for a moment. You could have said NO. Boo, you say! If I say no, Judy won't like me very much, Billy will be in such a bind, Darla has so many things weighing her down already, how could I say NO?! Easy! You don't want to do something, so don't!

The hardest part is getting over the fact that people may not like you the way they did when you said yes to everything. But look at it this way, if you grow a pair and learn some boundaries, people will respect your ability to choose. Or they'll run away like a crying child because they didn't get their way. The latter will eventually learn to stop expecting you to obey all the time. Suddenly you will find less requests coming your way. Even more, you will stop volunteering for things you didn't want to do in the first place! What a concept!

The freshest feeling will be when you say yes and mean it, when you're excited to do something not because someone will like you for it, but because it's what you want to do.

As an endnote, I speak from personal experience, so if you find this doesn't apply to you, you're one step ahead and may disregard the aforementioned accordingly. Have a beautiful day.