My mind is boggled by the things I read in status messages on MySpace. I add buttloads of people because I play Mafia Wars. Currently, it's possible to desubscribe to friends' activities, but not their statuses. For this I am displeased, and would enjoy a change in that area. In the interim, I have exposed myself to some of the most depraved things front and center on my MySpace homepage. Now I am sharing them with you. It's the most logical next step.
I have witnessed breakups via status message. Even more entertaining is I have only ever seen one side of it. One sort of looked like this (I rewrote with proper spelling and grammar to spare you the insanity that is text speak):
Shameless Individual says: Oh yeah? You're gonna be like that, huh? Ok well then ...(idle threat)............
Shameless Individual says: I'm better off without you anyway...blah blah blah...
Shameless Individual says: Wait, no, please come back, talk to me!!
Shameless Individual says: Why won't you answer me?! Baby, we've been through so much, how could you just ignore me?
Shameless Individual says: Unblock me!! Talk to me, honey.
Yeah, ick. It's like an episode of Jerry Springer and I didn't even turn on UPN. Even more fun are the various moods that are set, which for most become just another way to type a line of text that is often completely unrelated to an actual human mood.
Another interesting use for status messages is the passive-aggressive statement. Ahh, what a better way to tell off no one in particular exactly what's on your mind than with passive-aggression. YOU TELL 'EM!! ...err, whoever. The most entertaining part of these things is when highly insecure or self-centered people automatically think the message is directed at them, and they take action. The next thing you know, another message, intended for this special someone, declares what a self-centered freak they are for thinking it was about them. What a stupid mistake!! Everyone knows passive-aggressive status messages aren't supposed to incur any kind of response! That would be too much!
The next time you feel like telling someone how you feel, maybe you should spare the unaware public and communicate privately with that person. Or go on Jerry Springer.
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